In desperate hope I go and search for her in all the corners of my room; I find her not.
My house is small and what once has gone from it can never be regained.
But infinite is thy mansion, my lord, and seeking her I have come to thy door.
I stand under the golden canopy of thine evening sky and lift my eager eyes to thy face.
I have come to the brink of eternity from which nothing can vanish- no hope, no happiness, no vision of a face seen through tears.
Oh, dip my emptied life into that ocean, plunge it into the deepest fullness. Let me for once feel that lost sweet touch in the allness of the universe.

-Rabindranath Tagore

I walk along sidewalks and realize how dead they are to me when I am alone. Sidewalks all lead somewhere- but I've never had a destination but friendship... A sidewalk is a perfect backdrop for our created world: but alone, I put on my headphones and walk along briskly- trying to get away from all the superficial reality that the storefronts and parading insecurities present. I want to know everything and nothing at the same time. I want to ask about someone and have them tell me their deepest truth- I don't want to have to wade through miles of piled on bullshit to get there.

I stare into my eyes in the mirror and wish they were yours- wish you were here and we were talking freely of every thought that might fill our heads. But those days are gone and I am left with the compartmentalized friendships of the Japanese. Do a dancing friend, a soccer friend and a dinner party friend add up to a whole person? ...a whole relationship? Why does no one here seem to have anything to say?