I like places with wide sidewalks where there is a companionable distance even when you walk two abreast and onto which people's lawns spill... But even more than sidewalks, I like dirt paths where you slip when it rains and you always wind up muddy. Though you may walk them like a log perched above a river- one at a time, teetering on the brink of slipping to your doom- there is adventure with each footfall and the way you walk brings you into any fantasy world of your choosing- whether you hop along, skip or slink...the world is transformed.

In desperate hope I go and search for her in all the corners of my room; I find her not.
My house is small and what once has gone from it can never be regained.
But infinite is thy mansion, my lord, and seeking her I have come to thy door.
I stand under the golden canopy of thine evening sky and lift my eager eyes to thy face.
I have come to the brink of eternity from which nothing can vanish- no hope, no happiness, no vision of a face seen through tears.
Oh, dip my emptied life into that ocean, plunge it into the deepest fullness. Let me for once feel that lost sweet touch in the allness of the universe.

-Rabindranath Tagore

I walk along sidewalks and realize how dead they are to me when I am alone. Sidewalks all lead somewhere- but I've never had a destination but friendship... A sidewalk is a perfect backdrop for our created world: but alone, I put on my headphones and walk along briskly- trying to get away from all the superficial reality that the storefronts and parading insecurities present. I want to know everything and nothing at the same time. I want to ask about someone and have them tell me their deepest truth- I don't want to have to wade through miles of piled on bullshit to get there.

I stare into my eyes in the mirror and wish they were yours- wish you were here and we were talking freely of every thought that might fill our heads. But those days are gone and I am left with the compartmentalized friendships of the Japanese. Do a dancing friend, a soccer friend and a dinner party friend add up to a whole person? ...a whole relationship? Why does no one here seem to have anything to say?

Sidewalk Pizza

The other day, I was sitting outside of Tonelli's on the northeast corner of 26th and 2nd eating a personal Red Pizza (tomato sauce, olive oil, and oregano--no cheese). It wasn't very good. It came in 4 pieces, which I cut again into halves (making 8 all together). I dipped the slices into the little bowl of extra virgin olive oil that was left over from my bread basket appetizer.

I was in the process of eating my second slice when a voice called to me from the sidewalk: "You gonna eat all that?" At first, I wasn't paying attention. I was too intent on my cheese-less pizza to think about the people walking down the street. He asked again, "You gonna eat all that?" I looked up and realize that I was being spoken to. Too confused to know what to say, I just laughed. "I'll give you $5," said the stranger on the other side of the restaurant's patio baracade. "What?" I had been caught off guard and honestly didn't know why this guy was talking to me. "They don't sell by the slice. If you aren't going to eat all that, I'll give you $5 for 2 slices."

Now, I don't usually sell my food to people on the street, and I am not one to give up part of my meal, but this was an offer I couldn't refuse. The pizza had cost me $10, which meant that I was getting some money back, but who did this guy think he was anyway? Coming over and bothering me while I was trying to havea relaxing, quiet meal? Typical of men, always doing what they want. Moreover, what if I was going to eat it all myself? Maybe I'm hungry. And he hadn't asked anyone else sitting outside, just me. Sketchy character, if I do say so.

Nonetheless, I took the money. Hey, $5 can go a long way when you are a poor graduate student. Handing him 2 slices on an extra napkin, I pocketed the $5 and finish my last piece. All in a days work: ate some lunch; made some cash. Maybe I should go to that restaurant more often. Next time I'll order the whole pizza and give him half for $10. That's a good deal if you ask me.

Sidewalk Philosophy

Painted in white on the side of a blue, wooden construction board outside the 26th Street dorm:

"Peoplearepeoplebecauseofpeople"

(People are People because of People)